Photo by Myesha Gardener Nov 2021
We all struggle with thoughts that may hold us back and create anxiety. Some are lucky to be able to handle them or ignore them to push through, while others need a bit more help understanding how to navigate them.
ME, I am others lol.
I’ve always struggled with anxious thoughts, but in the most recent years it’s gotten worse. The pandemic has created a monster out of my mind and I know that I am not alone. Thankfully the amount of folks signing up for therapy has risen from 19% to 22%. I wish the number was higher because this world needs HEALING all around.
Since the pandemic I have dealt with stomach issues, panic attacks, and fear of leaving my home. All based out of anxiety. My business took a hit from it, I would have outburst with my family, and many times I felt malnourished because I didn’t know what food items would trigger my stomach (more on that next week). I’ve tapped in and out of therapy since 2015 and I had to tap back in during the lockdown in 2020.
Two themes have always remained consistent in my therapy sessions. Reframing the mind and Finding solutions (which I will cover next week). Reframing has been a practice in my sessions that I didn’t realise the name of it until two weeks ago when my therapist said it out loud. It confused me for a moment because I thought it was the same as being solution based. I couldn’t figure out how it worked or how to do it on my own. So I shared a thought (as I always do lol) with my therapist about an opportunity I was missing out on to make money. I felt slighted and small. I had to ask for help from family. I felt that the creator space I’m in may not ever open up the way I want because I’m too late. I hated myself for waiting so long to share my gifts were starting to feel like nothing to me.
And as we discussed my point of view and he validated my feelings the conversation took a turn when he asked me to reframe my thoughts around this heartache. I was quiet for a bit because I thought I did frame the story well enough for him to understand my experience. Then he said “ what did you learn from this? What can happen next? What bullets may you have dodged? Reframe your mind around this. Retell the experience”
The realisation that blossomed was that: Had I started early I wouldn’t have been equipped with certain experiences to help me navigate this new space. That company passed up on me now, but they will come back in a years time with their tail between their legs and would have to pay me more! The help my family gives is an investment that they will get a return on and if they didn’t want to help they wouldn’t. I am loved and I am believed in.
I’m exactly where I need to be. Although it may not be the picture perfect moment, at least and at very best it’s a strong foundation being built. I may have to reside in the foundation building stage for quite some time but without it; the growth that settles on top of it will not cause it to crumble and in need of rebuilding.
Reframing your mind around a concept is looking for the silver lining and convincing yourself that there is a lesson to focus on in every transaction of life. And if we can tell ourselves we are not worthy of something we can definitely and may need to CONVINCE ourselves we are worth the world. Convincing myself is a survival tactic, otherwise my demons will win a day. Instead of focusing on what hurts the most or what mistake you made, there’s a way to make the experience a remarkable one instead of haunting, just by reframing it.
Do you reframe your tough moments?
xo, Carolyn